I was never who you thought I was Because you never really cared to know anyway.

And I carried your problems with me for too long.

And I let what you did to me slide
because family is suppose to love you no matter what,
But you know not of this law for families, because we aren’t one.

You abandoned me in al my weak moments; When I only ever needed you.

So do not ask me to mourn for you, or answer your calls.

Do not play victim now that I can’t bare to pawn you forgiveness when you already bankrupt me.

Life has been heavy lately Its weighing on my mind and shoulders I can measure it too by the extra room in my waist band And the dullness festering in my eyes Im swimming in my thoughts And I’m always up past midnight, which is when the sad souls emerge And we all seem to avoid the same question “Are you okay.” Because over the years we’ve gotton tired of smiling lies. And if we actually exposed our broken peices And shared of how they got that way My fear is that I might break you with my life. By destroying your hope in people, humanity ans tomorrow. Ive suprised too many people with my apparent addiction to continue breathing Im only scilently holding on by a thread though So dont ask me if im okay I can’t take the reminder that ive gotton really good at smiling lies. Im always up past midnight When the shadows hide my smile perfectly Just enough for you to beleive me.

Your sticks and stones Always broke more than my bones. Because I believed you would never hurt me. But I should have believed you the first time You releavled yourself “Oh I’m sorry, if you hadn’t…” You wouldnt hurt so bad Your sticks and stones Always piercing into me And you’ll always be lurking in the shadows A ghostly reminder Of what my innocence believed That you once loved me, That once upon a time My soul was cared for. I grew up a while ago, Atleast you gave me that, You stole that My innocence was beaten With your sticks and stones They always broke more than just my bones.

And we are all literally Just walking around in our own silence And the strong ones are just so casual with their pain. And we can all see eachothers breaking. But we also all understand it would be better to not play with our devils logic Lets not dance with our demons Because maybe if we acknowledge them our fears of them winning our souls over won’t only be a nightmare.

Im better at destroying myself Than you ever were Your destruction only ignited my destruction. So you see you’ll never win I may not be good at anything But I can ruin myself Better than you ever could.

I loved you So, I worked at saving you over the years But your broken peices cut me And before long, I had to ignore my own But I loved you more than me So I pressed on Claimed strong But I never fixed you My mends came undone And tou walked away When you saw me all bloodies and broken You never liked my weakness anyway So one day I had to just Watch my weakness walk away.

So she chased everything that could numb her that would take it all away but it fed her. It only fed her.